We are undergoing major changes here at Exotic starting this month--We have a new printing press; We have a higher print quality throughout the magazine; We have re-established our presence on the streets of downtown Portland by updating all of our sidewalk newsracks; We have re-affirmed our pledge not to inadvertently upset our "advertising sponsors" within our editorial writings; And finally, we are planning on publishing the magazine on CD-Roms to be distributed in stores throughout the state, and at the same time expanding our already dominating internet presence by including even more content on the web than we have for the last eight years.

So, to help you, our trusty, faithful, unselfish, lovable, hot, sexy, juicy readers through this difficult time of change and upheaval, I've put together a list of common questions and our answers to them--

Frequently Asked Questions About The Changes To Exotic:

What does all this mean? How will it affect me?

In many, many mysterious ways I'll explain to you when you're older... And stop with the "Me! Me! Me!" thing all the time. It makes you look needy.

How do I find these sidewalk newsracks?

Walk, skip, crawl or flail about like a madman anywhere downtown for more than a few blocks and you'll probably run smack dab into one of our nifty glossy-black coinboxes full of magazines. The tourists, and thousands of lonely businessmen, love to read the articles. Especially my column.

How can I, as a loyal reader, help out in this confusing time of transition?

The easiest method would be to get a $20 bill and put it in a stamped envelope. Write our address on the envelope and put it in a mailbox.

Where can I find these Exotic CD-Roms?

They will be located in our magazine racks in nearly every adult store, shop and club in the state. This, of course, includes the many, many mega-stores and clubs like DK Wilds, the Acropolis and all the Fantasy Videos and Taboo Videos and many other places where Exotic is still the only local adult magazine distributed.

How come when I have sex with my girlfriend she screams out in passion things like, "Are you through yet you miserable freak!!!?"

Um. I don't know the answer to that question. Maybe you should stick the vibrator in her mouth?

Who takes all the pictures of the naked girls for Exotic?

When we can, we like to try to get Portland Mayor Vera Katz to do the erotic photography. But when she's not available, we have our in-house professional photographers do the dirty work.

Can I get a job at Exotic?

Sure! Just mail us your resume, along with a $300 processing fee, and we'll call you when we have an open position.