Page 22 - Exotic | March 2025

• "What an ass!" From Hamlet
Translation: "What an ass!"
And so, we could merely adjust some of the words to be more in line with how we speak today; perhaps Shakespearean tone might resonate more with us all if we did. They've tried it a few times in movies and TV shows, but for some reason, they never really updated the language. I suppose West Side Story was a pretty good take, but even now, that's half a century old and doesn't relate to people who were raised on Soulja Boy. As Shakespeare speaks to the ages, there's no reason why he couldn't be adapted to a more modern version. I just hope if that happens, whoever writes it needs to use the phrase "bitch tits." Not sure how or why, but this needs to happen to make ol' Will proud.
Thou cream-faced loons! Do take care.
-Wombstretcha
Wombstretcha the Magnificent is a remained biscuit, el- bow brain, sometimes whoreson, writer, and retired rap- per from Portland, OR. He can be found at his website, wombstretcha.com, on Twitter/X/whatever as @womb- stretcha503, and on MeWe and (begrudgingly) Facebook as "Wombstretcha the Magnificent."
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