Page 20 - Exotic | February 2025

When I began working as a bouncer at Dixie Tavern in 2017, the guys who worked the front door were prodigiously deadly hunt- ers of the fake ID. After closing, I would look through the stack they’d confiscated for the night, and I always wondered if I would have been able to call them out as fake. Catching fake IDs was woven heavily into the bouncer culture of that establishment, and it was a skill I was eager to develop.
I indeed managed to develop that skill, and over the years, I’ve snagged one here and there, but not with any regularity. I recently returned to Dixie Tavern after a couple of years away. On my first shift back, I was placed at the front door to check IDs (where I’ve re- mained since), and I suddenly found myself in what the military would call a “target-rich environment.” I’ve caught at least one fake ID every single Friday and every Saturday except one since then. My collection resides in a binder filled with baseball card pages. I currently have 145 fake IDs from 30 different states, all but 11 of which I’ve caught since September. My record is 11 in one night.
This brings us to the topic I’m writing about this month...I’m going to break down what to look for to catch fake IDs.
Just a few things before we dig in. First, don’t expect to just start catching fakes right away. The more IDs you check, the more apparent it becomes when something doesn’t look quite right. In Oregon, you aren’t liable for failing to spot a fake anyway, so be patient and give it time. Second, exercise caution when it comes to confiscating. You could land yourself in hot water if you mistake someone’s real ID for a fake and take it from them. I have a luxury that not everyone has...working at Dixie Tavern on Fridays and Saturdays, I have a police detail posted up 50 yards from where I’m standing, and they’re always happy to run an ID for me if I’m in doubt. I technically don’t confiscate fakes. If a kid demands I return their fake, I’m willing to return it, but handing a fake ID to a kid feels uncomfortably close to contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If they want it back that badly, I offer the solution of walk- ing with them to the aforementioned police detail, and the cops can return their property to them. Oddly enough, the kids rarely take me up on my offer. But the ones who do wind up getting lectured about the legal ramifica- tions of using a fake ID and told to go home. If you aren’t fortunate enough to have a po- lice detail at your immediate disposal like I do, err on the side of caution. If you aren’t certain about an ID, deny entry and give the card back.
Resources
I have noticed lately that some bars and clubs have started using ID scanners. While scanners can be a helpful tool, I’m decidedly not a fan. I’ve seen scanners fail in both di- rections. I’ve watched definite fakes scan as legit, and I know of an instance in which a genuine ID was flagged as fake. In the case of the former, the websites that sell fakes even tout their product as “scannable.” In the case of the latter, my theory is that the scanner got confused by an Arizona ID with a Seattle ad- dress. Arizona allows out-of-state addresses
on their IDs, provided the ID isn’t the new Real ID-compliant type, but I’m willing to bet that’s not a piece of information to which the scanner was privy. My advice is to skip the scanner.
How did I know Arizona’s address rules, you may ask? I looked it up in The ID Checking Guide. This book isn’t available for sale to individuals, only to bars and other relevant businesses or agencies. If your establishment doesn’t have a copy, ask your manager to or- der one from DriversLicenseGuide.com. The ID Checking Guide provides photo examples and detailed descriptions of currently valid versions of IDs from all 50 states, as well as US territories. It may not always give you enough information to make the call, but it’s a good reference to have on hand.
Photo
The photo on an ID is almost always the first thing that tips me off. Watch for photos that are too in-focus, like they were taken with an iPhone, instead of whatever shitty camera the DMV uses that makes you look blurry or grainy. Look at the photo as it relates to the background. Does the person look Pho- toshopped onto the background? Are the edges of their head too sharp, or are there no shadows behind them? Red flag.
If it sounds like I’m bragging right now, I sup- pose maybe I am. Maybe it’s a lame thing to brag about, but fuck it; I’m proud of how good I’ve gotten at it. I’m proud of having a skill that not a lot of people seem to have.
Laminate/Card Stock
Next, it’s time to focus on the card itself. The laminate is another early clue for me that an ID might not be legit. It’s often either way too glossy or way too matte. Look for air bubbles
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