Page 24 - Exotic | January 2025

44 lbs in 2-6 months! Wellbutrin seems to cause weight loss, so avoid that.
Diabetes Medicine
Diabetes meds like thiazolidinediones (commonly called TZDs, because fuck trying to pronounce that in one breath) and insulin shots like Humalog can cause weight gain, but it is typically not severe. You're probably going to need it eventually, anyhow, if you're trying to get fat fast.
Behavior
• Eat huge meals 3 hours after waking and right before sleeping. • Don't eat whole grain anything.
• Avoid fruits and vegetables unless they are fried or soaked in butter.
• Punch someone in the face.
Surgical Procedures
Ass Implants
Since most doctors will not do stomach implants (if that's even a thing), you can get ass implants, just like Nicki Minaj!
Breast Implants
If you're a lady, this does not have to be explained. If you're a fella, and you want the sweaty moobs you crave, you can get breast implants, too. Just don't get the silicone ones, they look too fake.
Reverse Liposuction
Just do a handshake deal with a plastic surgeon to "take the left- overs off [their] hands" and get pumped full of fat that some in- grate didn't want.
Exercise Tips
• Don't.
There you have it. My tips on how to get fat as fuck, fast as fuck. If Brendan Fraser can win an Oscar for being a great, big fatass, then you, too, can achieve glory.
Gorge well, -Wombstretcha
Wombstretcha the Magnificent is a regrettably skinny bastard, carb enthusiast, deep-fryer owner, writer, and retired rapper from Portland, OR. He can be found at his website, womb- stretcha.com, on Twitter/X/whatever as @wombstretcha503, and on MeWe and (begrudgingly) Facebook as "Wombstret- cha the Magnificent."
24 exotic magazine | xmag.com