Page 37 - Exotic | November 2024

two miles at about 20 yards back and another truck directly in front, “leading us” until we got back to our destination. Said destination being the highway...or literally anywhere other than there. So just be aware when driving through Ohio—es- pecially if you’re in a stupid red sports car.
Erie, PA – Erie Horror Fest
Half of the point of this trip was to make it to the Erie, PA, hor- ror movie festival (Erie Horror Fest – EHF—which, by the way, was amazing. Again, I can’t go into much detail just for brevity. But needless to say, we came back with a ton of merchandise for small film directors and comics we’d never heard of prior. And one painting of a raccoon eating a person’s arm. Lil’ rascal.
Missouri and Their Flavored Milk
The other main reason for being on this long trip was to vis- it one of my best friends, Mindy, and her future ex-husband, Deej. They’re both wonderful people who enjoy making you very uncomfortable while sitting on the perfect grandma fur- niture in their living room. The decor motif is like...goth meets grandma from the ‘70s. It’s awesome. We ate chili and fell asleep early here. But, I’ll be back soon to terrorize these folks s’more. As well as buy more of their cotton candy-flavored milk. That’s right. Cotton candy. A lovely customer in the dairy aisle saw me staring at the milk flavors and insisted that this was the best flavor. I took his advice, bought the milk, and only regret that I did not buy more. Or that I had a fridge. I’m also glad we do not carry such a thing in Oregon or Washington, for I’d be drinking it daily.
Areas for honorable mention include Hidden Leaf Café in Co- lumbus, Ohio (worth visiting 100%) and Elko, Nevada, which has this awesome Basque-style eatery that serves you cabbage soup, french fries, salad, spaghetti, and various beans by de- fault. You just choose your protein. Salt flats (I’m genuinely con- cerned we may run out of salt one day), Bruneau cemetery, and the Geiser Grand Hotel in Baker City...because they’re awesome and the service is tits! Oh, and the Nostalgic Stay Inn, where I felt like I was brought right back to an era I never lived in, com- plete with musk and spiders.
Hannah One Cup can be found laying in her bed for the next month to recuperate from...everything. She probably won’t show up to any family functions this November either (get the hint, fam- ily). Just joking...maybe.
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