Page 22 - Exotic | May 2024

I had an experience recently at a local beer store....er bar, which prompted me to write an article about it, specifi- cally because my partner did not un- derstand why it made me feel the way it had, which was, in the politest way of putting this, uncomfortable.
The thing that bothered me most was that my partner did not understand why this made me so uncomfortable because, to him and many other indi- viduals of the “masculine” type, this sit- uation could be easily brushed off and never thought of again. Unfortunately, for myself and many other individuals out there (males not excluded here), this type of thing happens so frequently that you almost don’t feel like going out anymore—just because trying to make the situation not happen takes more ef- fort than it did to put on an outfit that day (which is a feat for me some days, let me tell you).
I need to give my partner credit here, as he did try to make it noticeable that I was with him and that I should join the conversation he was holding with an- other patron, but this didn’t put a halt or deter the individual trying to talk at me, in the slightest. It was also on me for not verbally stating how uncomfort- able I was becoming, which is why I am writing this article. Because that last sentence is exactly what stops change from occurring, and when someone or a group of individuals are being repul- sive adult toddlers, they need to be told that’s what they are acting like so that it doesn’t happen again—or at least not to you.
So, whoever you are, if you’re reading this article, read on. We can all learn something from my experiences, if not
what to do, what not not to do. Don’t 22 exotic magazine | xmag.com
worry; I’ll make it fun. Because I’m nice, and I might like you. This is really just about proper etiquette when it comes to talking to people in public, how to notice obvious social queues, and what to do with them.
1) If you are sitting alone and minding your own business, it’s ok to stay that way. This goes for everyone. You do not have to feel pressured into holding a conversation with anyone in public. Did you just want to go to a bar and grab a drink because you had a long day? Maybe you’ve had your share of hearing people talk, or maybe you don’t need an explanation at all because you do not owe anyone anything...except for the bartender. Pay them. They might even be able to help you out of a jam like this.
2) When you notice someone you’d like to try starting a conversation with, es- pecially if you don’t know them, try in- troducing yourself first. Simply saying, “Hey, I’m Tad. Do you mind if I sit here? We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just didn’t wanna be the weirdo in the corner” might break the ice a bit. It also lets the person choose if they want to even have you by them, let alone converse. If they say, “No, I’m saving this seat for my friend,” then no means no. Even if that person has no friend and is kind of being a bit of an “uppercase B” by taking up two seats at a bar, respect their personal space.
3) Don’t talk about politics to someone you don’t know, and try arguing your point of view. That’s it. If you both are trying to have open forum-style con- versations about world events, neat. But don’t try shaming someone into be- lieving you’re more correct than them. It just makes you into a huge ass.
4) Asking questions like, “What do you
think the future of the world is?” is a loaded question and one I’m personally unable to respond to with a stranger, let alone one sitting at the bar next to me. So don’t go there. If you go there, pre- pare for a weird answer. It’s also espe- cially hard when that person is extraor- dinarily drunk and trying to order you a drink you don’t want, which brings me to number 5.
5) Do not ask what someone is having and say you’re buying them a drink. Telling someone you’re buying them a drink is, in this day and age, creepy and a bit insulting for reasons I have a