FIRST BREAST IMPLANTS

Oregon's first fake jugs were borne by

Nita Glansworth (right), a cocktail waitress from Scappoose who underwent a crude plastic-surgery operation in 1957 using hot-water bottles. Tragically, the implants began to sag
further and further until Glansworth's breasts actually fell off in 1964, requiring major reconstructive surgery.

FIRST TOY SHOW

Using a device she playfully referred to as "Thor's Hammer," Norwegian expatriate
Øona Günterson caused a scandal one summer night in 1972 at Salty Dave's, an Astoria gentlemen's club. Local citizens, mostly other women, were so outraged that the Astoria City Charter was rewritten to forbid "the public insertion of blunt instruments into human orifices."

FIRST PHONE SEX

Tortilla Clamato (left),
a former calypso chanteuse from Argentina, left her native country in 1963 and briefly set up a phone-sex operation in a Klamath Falls bar. Men would pay her two
dollars for the right to "talk dirty" with Clamato from a pay phone across the street from the bar. The phone-sex gig proved wildly successful, but she was soon busted by vice cops and and spent four days in the Klamath County Jail, where she became a lesbian.

FIRST STRIPPER TO BECOME ADDICTED TO CRYSTAL METH

Bambi Cuidado (left) started dancing at The Tugboat* in Swan Island during the mid-1970s. In 1978, she snorted her first rail of crystallized methamphetamine, offered to Bambi by her boyfriend at the time, Jake Yarbles, a notorious sex offender/biker/ leather craftsman/storyteller/meth cook/arm-wrestling champion from Prineville. Within weeks, Cuidado was using speed daily. She has continued using crystal meth every day since then and has progressed from snorting it to smoking
it to mainlining it. By 1990, she had lost all her teeth. Last year, she was diagnosed with Hepatitis-C. Despite her health problems, she continues to dance at The Tugboat. So does her daughter, Chi-Chi. And her granddaughter, Panocha.

*("Home of the Original Barnyard Burger")

FIRST "ALTERNATIVE"
EROTIC PERFORMANCE

Bunny Gazelle & Tisha Crumbcake [above] lay claim to giving, in their words, the city's first "underground conceptal erotic presentation," a six-hour play called "El Toro, My Lover," which debuted downtown at Flatch's Cove at Third & Burnside and played for a week in 1981. The play revolves around a Midwestern farmer's wife and her sexual obsession for a pet bull in her
husband's herd. In the final scene, the bull castrates the farmer character and then removes its costume to reveal
that it, too, is a woman just like the farmer's wife, whereby the two engage in lesbian sex. According to playwright Crumbcake, the show "smashed through the stereotypes and barriers erected throughout five thousand years of patriarchy and raised serious questions about race, gender, and bestiality in Western culture."