It feels like a bad Family Circus cartoon (there’s another kind?) but since Frank is nursing a bum wing, I (your beloved editrix) am shouldering the mighty duty of this column. If I write anything stupid...I’d appreciate it if you’d just not notice.

This month our cover models, Ophelia and Nina, serve as a reminder as to why summer can be so damn much fun. They, and their photographer, Christopher Lloyd-Baron, had the good fortune of meeting Eric Meiier, a buff local who acted as a cordial body guard and tour guide during their photo shoot and even let everyone use his boat. Thank you, Eric!

This issue we welcome the coming of autumn (prime video rental season) with a fond “hey, baby” to B-movies with Rex Breathes’ “I Wanna B-Bad”...a loving tribute, of sorts, to saucy B-movie star, Maria Ford.

If you’re as sick as I am of politicians and religious leaders pretending to have some corner on the market of morality, you’ll enjoy reading some dirt on some founding fathers and godly moms and pops. Check out “Heaven, Hypocrisy and Homosexuality” by...why...me, Theresa Reed.

Gary Aker graces our pages once again, this time with a dreamy installment from his Desert Diaries: “Lies Are Cheaper Than Lap Dances.” Money and sex in Vegas...where else?

Finally, for those of us who just know they are out to get us, there’s Jef Spicoli on the scene with “Spicoli’s Conspiracy of the Month”...new this month. I’m not paranoid, what about you?