There is definitely something wrong with me! Everyone knows that all normal chicks my age are sperm-guzzling nymphomaniacs with cock on the brain and jizz on their tits. Just look at the videos and magazines! Normal gals do it with everyone from the mailman to the school janitor to the entire black
contingent of the football team. And when there're no men around, they'll
even go down on each other! But I never get any of this action.

Don't think it doesn't bother me. Don't think I don't lie awake at night, praying for Jesus to deliver me a fist up my box! With my looks, I should have hairy knuckles tickling my uterus every night. I should have sperm on my face and a big black dick up my ass. I should be banging my way across the USA. But it seems like every time I get a hot offer, I screw everything up and drop the ball...like one time, when I was a cigarette girl at a hotel, and this one grizzled old porter had the hots for me.

Every time I walked through the hotel lobby in my little uniform, he would pop wood and strike up a conversation with me, his eyes darting down to my legs, his lips dripping the drool of old-man lust. Finally one morning he worked up the nerve to invite me over to his house. But this was no ordinary invite! Instead of coming over for dinner and drinks, he wanted me to show up in nothing but my nylons and my highest heels and walk around his house using this pair of old crutches he had! It seemed he had a fetish for crippled girls, and he said he would pay me $100 if I would hobble around for twenty minutes and then let him cum on my legs. A tempting and lucrative proposal...but for some stupid reason, I declined.

Then there was this other guy who invited me over one night, a regular guy that I had gone to lunch with and who seemed like a class act. Imagine my surprise when he answered the door wearing nothing but a leash attached to his balls and asked me to lead him around the house! I complied and gave him a couple of good yanks, but no offer of $100 was made, so I grew tired and dropped the leash. That's when he switched gears, begging me to crap on his face! When I refused, he said he'd settle for my pissing on him. When I still said no, he suggested I just pee in a wine glass so that he could drink it later! A tough offer to turn down...but foolishly, I did.

Then another night I was having a drink after work, and I complimented this black man sitting next to me on his beautiful Fat Albert jean jacket. As soon as the words left my lips, four or five other well-dressed black men appeared out of nowhere! They told me I was beautiful, but then cut straight to the chase: Would I be interested in working for them as a prostitute? The head pimp informed me that together, we would make millions by going international--to Afghanistan, for instance, where they pay up to $500 for sex with a white woman...and up to $1000 for anal!

It was a tempting offer, to be sure...but again, I had to decline. I knew I'd probably kick myself later for missing out on all the action, but at the time it just didn't seem exciting enough to be worth the time and effort. And that is why I believe there must be something wrong with me. Because any normal red-blooded American hottie would have been all over those offers like they were coated in cum! Sperm on my legs, crapping on some guy's face, being rammed up the ass by Osama bin Laden...I could have been the star of my own adult video! I could have had it all. But I said no.

There is definitely something wrong with me!