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xmag.com
: April 2002: I Hate Sex |
Once
I spent a day at a nudist camp, and the sight of all those
sunburned balls started my libido on the path to destruction.
It all began when I answered this personal ad: OLDER GENTLEMAN
SEEKS YOUNGER GIRL TO SPOIL AND PAMPER. WHAT HAVE YOU
TO LOSE? I'm always looking for a good sugar daddy, so
I called him up and we met for lunch. But when I saw him
in person, I nearly puked. He was the biggest freak I've
ever met!
He
was 50 years old, but he looked 13. Yes, 13! He was short
and well-built, in teenage surf clothes, with fluffy,
bleached-blond, bisexual-looking hair. As we chatted over
lunch, I learned that he was an ex-stripper whose interests
included night-shift go-go dancing at a gay club, being
led around by a leash attached to his balls, and having
people crap and piss all over his face. Best of all, he
was a respected sixth-grade teacher by day!!!
"I myself cut
loose naked and was soon whirled off by a drunk-ass
Texan who kept rubbing his fat, hairy balls on me."
I'm
a sucker for freaks, so when he invited me to spend a
day at his favorite nudist camp, I said yes immediately.
Now, I had never gone nude in public before, but I'm no
shrinking violet, so when we arrived I whipped off my
sarong and paraded about in naught but sunglasses (so
I could ogle people on the sly). My date kept one eye
on my "beautiful asshole" and the other on his own well-muscled
physique, both of which he obviously lusted after. We
spent the day hanging out at the pool, chatting with fat,
ugly, naked people, my date even carrying on a lengthy
conversation with one guy over my bare ass, as I floated
on an air mattress between them like a sexy, clefted conference
table!
Like
I said, my date was a hardcore sex freak, so naturally
he couldn't keep his hands off me. In fact, he almost
got us kicked out for being too lascivious. (Those camps
have super-strict rules--erections are NOT allowed and
must be covered up at once!) Thank God he shriveled right
up when he found one single hair growing from my right
nipple! In those days I shaved EVERYTHING, but I guess
that one overlooked hair was just too much for a man who
shaved even his balls! I had to calm him down by suggesting
a walk in the woods. We wandered off down this forest
path, naked as deer, munching nuts and berries like Adam
and Eve...until we came to an ominously romantic sandy
beach beside a bubbling brook.
As
ALWAYS happens to me, my date insisted on "spoiling me"
(i.e., eating my beleaguered pussy). Now, by this time
it was obvious that this was no sugar daddy, and that
I wouldn't make a dime out of him. But we were out in
the country surrounded by fat, hairy nudists, so what
could I do?? I had sand up my ass, and my stomach was
growling from only having nuts and berries all day! I
gave in and faked a quick screamer, and, satisfied that
he had pleasured me more than any man ever could, he helped
me up and we headed back to camp, me glaring at his hairless
ass all the way.
But
it wasn't over yet! At nightfall, the camp clubhouse became
the hottest party in town. There was this DJ busting loose
Ricky Martin while the nudists freaked nasty (and I mean
NASTY). Mysteriously, many of the ladies wore strategic
scraps of clothing for the dance; I myself cut loose naked
and was soon whirled off by a drunk-ass Texan who kept
rubbing his fat, hairy balls on me. A fitting end to a
nauseating day! My date wanted to spend the night in one
of the camp's rental trailers, but I'd had enough!! We
got into his SUV and got the hell out of there. Notice
I didn't mention getting dressed--he liked to drive naked.
I rode the whole way home stabbing mental daggers into
his loathsome, bouncing dick...as I do to every smelly,
wrinkly penis I'm forced to look at. So watch out... and
KEEP IT COVERED!
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