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Erotic City |
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KOIN TV's Obscene
Spelling Error
Exotic magazine
was on the eleven o'clock news recently. KOIN TV producer,  Jim
Byrne, gave us two minutes of our fifteen minutes of fame with
his lead story on--AGHAAST!--exposed breasts leering out through
the window of a downtown Portland coinbox. In straight-arrow
Jim Byrne's world, "If it bleeds it leads" has been replaced
by "If it's seedy it leads." Or, if it has breasts...Mr. Byrne's
in-depth, live, on-scene reporting of that breasted coinbox
took precedence over all other news of the day. Someone was
offended by bare breasts staring back at them as they walked
down the street on a sunny summer day...albeit some very nice
breasts belonging to last month's cover model, Asia . "I think
that's terrible...that's disgraceful...I don't mind if that's
in a store where people like that go," the outraged passerby
said to reporter Joel Iwanaga.
But what really offends me is that producer Byrne is illiterate:
his segment broadcast the word obscene spelled "OBSENE" for
ten full seconds in huge block letters taking up half the screen.
Now that's obscene. Our bare breasts may be obscene but at least
we at Exotic know how to spell it. Anyhow, producer Byrne's
hugely misspelled point was: Is this public display of bare
breasts obscene, i.e. fracturing any existing obscenity law?
Well, little Jimmy, if you knew anything about the Oregon Constitution,
you'd know that obscenity is protected free speech in the big
bald Beaver State, with or without the "C. So, your piece had
no point, other than you were offended.
I can tell you what is breaking the law and that's the 75
Exotic coinboxes that have been stolen from downtown
Portland over the last eight years. Each one costs approximately
$200 total for purchase, refurbishing, spare parts and placement,
including one-half inch cables and hefty locks securing them
to lightposts. It takes some real intention, effort and professional
bolt cutters to remove them. Not to mention, someone would
need to have "authority" that would go unquestioned, as they
drove around and spent five to ten minutes cutting through
the cable and dragging it into a vehicle large enough to haul
it away. Someone like Association for Portland Progress would
have all of the above; for those of you who don't know, APP
is the private company sub-contracted by the the city and
the major hotels to clean portions of downtown--bus malls,
Pioneer Square, etc.--and they provide the tour-guide and
rent-a-cop presence during the day. So, they are the ones
charged with keeping Portland clean and safe...from adult
magazine coinboxes dispensing bare breasted filth in our most
livable city? $15,000 worth of coinboxes stolen. Could that
be the real story, Mr. Byrne...along with, how did you get
to be a producer when you can't even spell? You're as bad
as SFX magazine. Try using spellcheck software.
Gentelmen's Club
News
So
it's time to kick off another installment of Erotic City,
and since this is the final step in the creation of this
fine piece of literary trash, that means its time to wrap
up another deadline and call it Exotic magazine's
Schoolgirl Sleaze-O-Rama. This has been a very interesting
month, so damn interesting that I'll be checking myself
into therapy lockdown for a week or so as soon as I finish
this column. So let's get started and feed all you horny
bastards all the goodies and treats that Pornland has
in store for you this September. And remember, while you're
reading this I'll be sitting in a padded room waiting
for my medication, all in the name of Exotic and
you, our loyal readers.
Where better to start than the beginning, with our cover
of this month's schoolgirl spectacular, Ginger from Cocktails
& Dreams. Aside from scoring this months cover,
C&D has a ton of special treats in store for you this
month. Such as their fourth stage which will be specializing
in catering to full-figured women (guess they'd better
make sure they keep the buffet catered as well). The other
three stages will be filled with tantalizing dancers provided
by the new agency in town, Brickhouse Promotions. Check
out the best of Brickhouse's babes slugging it out for
$300 in cash prizes on Saturday the 22nd in C&D's
all-new monthly dance contest. The Boobs & Booze
Cruise courtesy of PortlandExoticDancers.com
on the 21st, and then we have the live music scene covered
with OmniBox on the 15th, and The Littlefield All Stars
on the 29th. Is that enough for you? If not...try this
one on for size...The Ink-N-Pink Cabaret 2001 will be
turning the place inside out on Friday October 19th. See
the Ink-N-Pink update below for more details.
Next up on the chopping block is the gang at Doc's
Bar & Grill. That's right, they're back in our
pages where they've always belonged. And if you're looking
for hot, naked action with all the belles and whistles,
Doc's is the place for you my friends. On Sept. 6th, we'll
get all slippery with an oil wrestling tournament and
another chance to win a wet and wild voyage on the PortlandExoticDancers.com
Boobs & Booze Cruise on Thursday, Sept. 13th. Doc's
will be rockin' all month long with music from The Gasoline
Kings & Kinghat on Sept. 9th, Stark Raving Naked on
Sept. 15th, EZ Connection on Sept. 16th and one of our
favorites, Atom Sane on Sept. 29th. Have we left anything
out? Oh yeah, how could I forget, the Ink-N-Pink Cabaret
will be buzzing into Doc's on Oct. 26th with very special
guests, Rorschach Test.
Club
Coco II is back in the mag this month to let all
of you know that the Ross Island Bridge is finally open
and they are ready to party dammit. Club Coco is offering
a full bar and kitchen for your enjoyment while your
eyes are feasting on their hot exotic dancers. Stop
by and tell 'em Exotic sent you, who knows what
that might get you.
The gang at Stars Cabaret is offering up 3 whole
days and nights filled with wet dreams with their Pajama
Party on Sept. 11, 12 & 13th. we're talkin' about
all the Stars babes performing their steamy, sultry
sets from the comfort of a nice warm bed. And if you
show up in PJ's, you'll be able to enjoy the specials
Stars is offering. However, those silk pajamas you'll
be strutting across the club in might not disguise that
hard on very well. Stars is also throwing a fiesta in
all 3 locations to celebrate Mexican Independence Day
with a free taco bar and $1 off all Mexican Beverages.
And be sure not to miss mega-breasted magazine starlet
Alyssa Alps also baring it all in all 3 locations.
The Boom Boom Room on Barbur Boulevard is welcoming
back one of their finest, the one and only Boom Raider
herself, Pandora. Be on the lookout for more coverage,
or should we say, uncoverage of Pandora in our big 100th
issue in November.
The Ink-N-Pink Cabaret 2001- A Tattoo Odyssey
will be buzzing through Pornland all through October
leaving its mark on Union Jacks on October 5th,
Jody's on October 12th, Cocktails & Dreams
on October October 19th, Doc's Bar & Grill
on October 26th, and climaxing at Dante's on
Hell night, October 31st. Ink-n-Pink is a fun-filled
tattoo circus of fire dancers, tattooed dancers, magicians,
$3000 in cash and tattoo prizes, our Mistress of Ceremonies,
Miss Ink-n-Pink 2000 Sage, and extra-special guests
Rorschach Test. See next month's issue for all the ink
in living color.
Adult Store News
Mr.
Peeps Adult Superstore out
on TV Highway is finally rolling along at full speed.
24 hours of full service adult activities, including live
private dancer shows, a video/DVD arcade for on-premise
viewing, magazines, novelties, adult toys. The address
is 20625 SW TV Highway in Aloha. The telephone number
is 503-356-5624.
You may remember the controversy caused when they were
first opening the store late last year and early this
year, which included intense news coverage by the sex-news-hungry
local television media and neighborhood infighting and
picketing.
This is actually the third store in a family-owned chain
of stores that include The Peephole and The
Love Boutique, both out on SE 122nd Avenue.
Mr. Peeps joins the other classy adult superstores out
in the deep Southwest metro area like DK Wilds
in Beaverton, Fantasy Video in Beaverton and Tigard,
Sweet Sensations in Beaverton and Castle Superstore
and the Silver Spoon along Barbur Blvd.
Internet News
PortlandExoticDancers.com
is hosting another pair of Boobs & Booze Cruises
this month. The first will be featured at Doc's Bar &
Grill on Thursday Sept. 13th and the second at Cocktails
& Dreams on Friday Sept. 21st. In case you're unaware
what a Boobs and Booze Cruise is...let me fill you in. First
we have a sexy crew of exotic dancers aboard to fulfill your
lust, then we have a fully-catered buffet to fill your stomach,
and a fully-stocked, open bar to cloud your reality. There
are two ways to climb aboard this 6-hour cruise. You can either
go to Doc's or Cocktails and hope you're one of the lucky
seamen to win a boarding pass, or you can play it safe, and
log on to PortlandExoticDancers.com and purchase your ticket
online. While you're online, be sure to send an email to your
favorite dancer, or purchase a pair of her panties so you
can have a souvenir to bring along on the cruise.
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CALENDAR
OF EVENTS
SPECIAL
EVENTS
WEDNESDAY
SEPTEMBER 5
MONTHLY DANCE
CONTEST * Sassy's * 10pm
THURSDAY
SEPTEMBER 6
OIL WRESTLING
TOURNAMENT * Doc's Bar & Grill
XOTICA-GO-GO
* Cobalt Lounge * 10pm
SUNDAY
SEPTEMBER 9
THE
GASOLINE KINGS/KINGHAT * Doc's Bar & Grill
SINFERNO
CABARET * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
MONDAY
SEPTEMBER 10
SOOBIE'S
PINUP CONTEST * Soobie's Bar & Grill
TUESDAY
SEPTEMBER 11
TWO-FER-TUESDAYS
* Club 205
TUESDAY
SEPTEMBER 11-13
STARS
PAJAMA PARTY * Stars Cabaret Beaverton
WEDNESDAY
SEPTEMBER 26
COVERGIRL
FASHION SHOW * Club 205 * 10pm
THURSDAY
SEPTEMBER 13
P.E.D.
BOOBS & BOOZE CRUISE PRE-PARTY * Doc's Bar & Grill *
10pm
XOTICA-GO-GO
* Cobalt Lounge * 10pm
MENAGE-A-TROIS
* Club 205
FRIDAY
SEPTEMBER 14-15
MAGAZINE
STAR ALYSSA ALPS * Stars Cabaret Bend
SATURDAY
SEPTEMBER 15
STARK
RAVING NAKED * Doc's Bar & grill
LIVE
MUSIC W/OMNIBOX * Cocktails & Dreams
SUNDAY
SEPTEMBER 16
EZ CONNECTION
* Doc's Bar & Grill
SINFERNO
CABARET * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
TUESDAY
SEPTEMBER 18-20
MAGAZINE
STAR ALYSSA ALPS * Stars Cabaret Beaverton
WEDNESDAY
SEPTEMBER 19-22
HUSTLER
COVERGIRL TRISTAN BLUE * The Main Event * Salem
THURSDAY
SEPTEMBER 20
BEST
ASS SHANKIN' CONTEST * Soonie's Bar & Grill
XOTICA-GO-GO
* Cobalt Lounge * 10pm
JODY'S
MARDI GRAS DANCE CONTEST * Jody's Bar & Grill
FRIDAY
SEPTEMBER 21-22
MAGAZINE
STAR ALYSSA ALPS * Stars Cabaret Salem
FRIDAY
SEPTEMBER 21
P.E.D.
BOOBS & BOOZE CRUISE PRE-PARTY * Cocktails & Dreams
* 10pm
SATURDAY
SEPTEMBER 22
MONTHLY DANCE
CONTEST * Cocktails & Dreams * 9 pm
SUNDAY
SEPTEMBER 23
GOLF
TOURNAMENT * Club 205
SINFERNO
CABARET * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
TUESDAY
SEPTEMBER 25
TWO-FER-TUESDAYS
* Club 205
DANCE
CONTEST * Montego's
WEDNESDAY
SEPTEMBER 26
COVERGIRL
DANCE CONTEST * Club 205 * 10pm
SATURDAY
SEPTEMBER 29
LIVE
MUSIC W/OMNIBOX * Cocktails & Dreams
ATOM
SANE * Doc's Bar & Grill
WEEKLY
EVENTS
MONDAYS
The
Main Event * Buck Night
Karaoke
From Hell * Dante's
Monday
Night Football Specials * Doc's Bar & Grill
TUESDAYS
The
Egyptian Room * The Ladies Dance for the Ladies * 9pm
Club
205 * Ladies' Night
WEDNESDAYS
Ladies
Night * Doc's Bar & Grill
Sassy's
* Widmer Wednesdays
City
Limits Showgirls * Wild Wednesdays
THURSDAYS
Sassy's
* Deschutes Thirsty Thursdays
Karaoke
From Hell *The Woodshed
Xotica-Go-Go
* Cobalt Lounge * 10pm-Close
SUNDAYS
Sinferno
Cabaret * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
Sunday
Night Free Buffet * The Dolphin
Free
Pool * Sassy's
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