I'd like to christen August's Exotic the Falling Star issue, in homage to the annual Perseid meteor shower and the celebrities, big and small, cascading through these pages this month. How about Dennis fucking Miller, who carves up Clayburgh (Jill), Carville (James) and Clinton (Bill), in that order, as interviewed by our very own mysterious DJ Anon. Blink 182's drummer, Travis Barker, talks about how his mom always wanted him to be a rock star and King Crimson's Pat Mastelotto (formerly of Mr. Mister, how obscure can you get) yaks about "Larks Tongues In Aspic" and opening for Tool. Blink 182 hits the Coliseum on August 15th while Tool and King Crimson (sold out within minutes) play the Schnitz August 8th. Miller already blew through town on the 23rd of last month. How fucking topical can you get. Throw in some surging electronic voyeur fiction from Rex Breathes, the continuing Pimp Daddy saga of Zen's Dolls and a trip to the Moonlite Bunnyranch, not to mention Goddess Severina's Catholic guilt BDSM, and you've got more summer reading than you'll know what to do with. Where else can you have this much fun for free? Only from the mind of Exotic. I've been told that a bizarre, exotic, non-profit show called Circus Contraption will unfold their freakiness at Dante's on August 18th for a mere eight bucks. The six-foot Amazonian beetle, Giant Puppets, aerial artistry and loony characters perform to the twisted tunes of a seven piece band--that sounds like a cross between Tom Waits and Wings of Desire. Whoa. I hope I'm there. And Kitty Diggins is offering "A Frolic By The Sea Cabaret" at Dante's Sunday, August 11th starting at 10:30 PM. Featured performers are the "Kitten of the Keys," Suzanne Ramsey, and the Cantankerous Lollies, a troupe led by circus performer and contortionist, Harvest King, getting lewd with hula hoops. Also on hand for this night the stars are falling (see above astronomical reference) are On the Edge Productions, who specialize in sword swallowing and knife throwing (sounds like my neighbors), and the Kitty herself doing a live mermaid show. Pirates and a bevy of beauties will shake and shimmer to old songs of the sea. All this salty fun for a mere eight bucks, or, a fin if you wear an old fashioned love song, er, bathing suit. Wow.

Portland Exotic Dancers.com is keepin' your drive hard this month with new ways to keep your mouse and keyboard sticky. First off, the return of the Boobs and Booze Cruise, which, in case you've been off in the Tundra, is a 35 ft. cabin cruiser, food, booze, and a half-dozen, table-dancing exotic entertainers goin' wild on the river. We have 2 cruises this month: the first will be sponsored by Jody's, on Friday, August 10th, and the second will belong to Stars, on Thursday, August 16th. Each club will be giving away tix for their cruise along with a bunch of promotional crap you can't live without. So, get out there!