My rant
is about customers who see an escort and then get on their
cyber carpet and let everybody know about their experience.
Okay, freedom of speech, okay, all right. But what is going
on when a man sees a lady, then logs on his computer afterwards
and tells his chat buddies WHOM he saw, WHERE he saw her,
WHAT the service was, and HOW MUCH he paid!? I'm talking
about customers actually typing in WORLD WIDE that "Lacy"
gave him "full service" for "200 dollars" and you can visit
her at home in the "Brooklyn" neighborhood in Portland,
just call "555-2314." Keeey-RIST. Why dontcha call my father
and let him know I'm one helluva lay while you're at it?
This
communication ring springs from computer technology. Sometimes
you need a password to get into a chat room, sometimes customers
build web pages just to recommend, or grade, the services
of an escort. And they tell two nerds, and so on and so
on.
LET
ME INTERRUPT THIS MESSAGE BY CLARIFYING THAT A CUSTOMER
WHO SEES AN ESCORT DOES NOT A NERD MAKE.
No,
gentle reader. It's the guy who lends details to other guys
on the internet because he was so delighted with the private
show. It's the mucho nerdo who maybe thinks he's giving
the escort a compliment, or free advertising, or I don't
know what. Guess what dudes, I have heard of this thing
called the computer. If I wanted to advertise my services
on it, I would have done it myself. If that guy is you,
please stop this cyber-snitching. Stop it right now!
Last
summer I was getting more calls that sounded like a recorded
message. "Hello is this Teresa? A tall brunette with a cat
grin?" What? That's a weird one in singular, much less several
with that exact same line. Finally one guy tells me he read
a review of me and wanted to book an appointment. He told
me the computer said I gave XX service for XX dollars. FUCK
YOU!!! Nobody, but nobody sets the rates to my services
but me. Maybe I don't feel like doing service A today, but
will agree to it anyway and will slap on a grumpy tax you
didn't even know existed. Maybe I'll let you slide in price
'cause I'm in a good mood and you said all the right things
and brought me presents.
Full
service. What does that mean exactly....probably vaginal
intercourse. Maybe it means that. Maybe trading sex for
money is considered illegal and everytime a customer types
it in he is PUTTING THE ESCORT AT RISK. At risk of getting
busted, at risk of losing her power of negotiation, at risk
of her finding this loud mouth and kicking his ass. Seriously,
I think some of these guys forget sexual contact for pay
is against the law. And what about the no-contact escorts?
There's plenty of adult entertainers who offer a good, visual
show with no touchy feely. If the customer describes her
as full service and she's NOT, this escort is now in the
position of talking down a patron who walked in with a different
idea of what a private show is. And another thing, the few
computer referrals I decided to book were total bunk: no
shows, hemming and hawing, ridiculous phone etiquette. Grrrrrrrr.
It's
tough, because if you bitch, would the guy just type that
in too? What I do now is ask the voice on the phone where
they saw my ad. I guess I prefer magazine referrals because
then I know the guy took some effort to find me. These internet
guys just log on at work and ring up escorts for kicks.
This isn't a game, it's my goddamn job. And if you really
want to give me a compliment, don't put my business on the
internet. Available by appointment, serious inquires only.
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