So I have about 13 minutes to write this column, after spending hours re-designing the first two pages of the magazine for this month. What’s up with that? Why don’t we have an art director for that kind of stuff? I guess maybe we could afford it if I didn’t hang out at Sassy’s quite as much... But then again, If I didn’t put everything off till the bitter end as usual, I wouldn’t have the problem to begin with.

But most people have no idea how enormous putting out this magazine every month is. Especially for only eight or so people. Especially when most of them are procrastinators (which rhymes with masturbators, but I usually don’t put that off). For example, I shot the cover on Tuesday. It was printed on Wednesday. We will have copies of the magazine tonight (Thursday). That’s cutting it way too close, but it usually works. Even though the guys at the printer and at Revere Graphics get really tired of us coming in at the last second. Thank god they hang out at Sassy’s way too much as well... They can understand...

So, like I said, I shot the cover of Mina and Gia when it was like, 157 thousand degrees outside Tuesday and it was too hot to blow good bubbles–even with Bubble Yum–and I had to keep spraying down their naked bodies with the hose because Brandon never showed up to assist me (his loss). But the three of us cranked it out and I think it looks good, even if I was up till 4:30am this morning making sure it made some sort of sense. After eight hours of staring at a photo on a computer screen you tend to lose objectivity about how it looks and start praying that you haven’t made a horrible mistake that everyone is going to make fun of. Either that or you just say, “fuck it,” and not care what anybody thinks because they don’t have a clue about how hard it is to put out a magazine anyway.

So now I’m either starting to repeat myself or I’m coming around full circle to make a point (of which I’m not sure). But it doesn’t matter anyway... I’ve only got three minutes left...

We have four feature articles this month. One on the new film version of Lolita coming out on Showtime this month and being released to theatres later on. The second on Andre Williams, a musician whose lyrics are much more pornographic than anything you can see in this magazine (god bless him). Another article celebrating the 25th anniversary of Deep Throat, this time by Rex Breathes. And a serious article on needle exchange programs by Teresa Dulce’ from Danzine.

Damn, I’m late... gotta go...