Rock and Roll Hootchie Koo...

This is the rock-n-roll issue in case the words on the cover weren’t big enough for you to read or you’re illiterate, which, if you are then you can’t read this anyway and we can all make fun of you behind your back, or in front of your face so to speak. Anyway, I’m thinking that every issue from here on out will be rock-n-roll issues, since it seems to integrate so naturally, unless of course we decide to do another “Annual Sex Issue” which is really just a joke to make Willamette Week writers think we’re stupid. But that’s another story (see September 1997 issue if you actually care and have no life).

Heard it Through the Grapevine...

The sexy little glam-rock-stripper-girl on the cover this month is Michelle (she usually doesn’t have on that much make-up), who you can see at Dancin’ Bare, Doc’s and Sassy’s, and who’s husband, Chuck, is the ballistic bass player for Dr. Unknown and Peace & Silence (and security at Doc’s). Portland slam-rocker Dan Reed (whose gorgeous ex-stripper girlfriend, Taz, you can see bartending nearly every night at Red’s on Southeast Foster), shot the photo with assistance from yours truly and the ever-sassy Roxy (who, coincidentally, you can see dancing at Sassy’s) doing the meticulous make-up and hair job (which explains the perfect eyeliner).

If you hadn’t noticed last month, our most fabulous editrix-in-chief and irreplaceable Darklady aka Theresa Reed, has moved on to pursue her literary career. This magazine would never had made it as far as it has in the last three years without her, and we will all miss her greatly. Hopefully we’ll be able to convince her (read:big bucks) to contribute her insightful columns and articles in the future.

In the ominous absence of the Darklady, the vivacious Viva Las Vegas, stripper-extraordinaire from the Magic-A-Go-Go and Mary’s Club, and rocker in her own right (formerly in Spectator Pump), and the raucous Rex Breathes have taken on editorial coordination for the magazine. Each month “the laziest gal downtown” will be taking us on her own personal rock-n-roll thrill ride in “The Gospel According to Viva Las Vegas.” And Rex does what Rex always does, plus a little more (the toilet paper should roll over not under, Rex).

I Read the News Today Oh Boy...

We’ve re-designed “Erotic City” in a much more digestible format. Not that you would actually eat that page, or any other page for that matter. Kind of like masturbating to a magazine...

We’ve added “baby sue” comix (see page 30) so all the politically-correct fascists have even more reason to despise us and everything we stand for (never end a sentence with a preposition, goddammit).

“Ritual” returns with the guy from the planet doom that I’ve already written about above, writing about a subject he knows well... the stripper-rocker love connection.

Speaking of strippers, rockers, (gypsies, tramps and thieves...), supertramp Courtney Love (write her or just drive by and say “hi” at 33401 NE 78th St., Carnation, WA 98014... her private home address is courtesy of POPsmear magazine) is all over the place with her Hole album due out next month. We’ve got an exclusive interview with her former boyfriend Rozz Rezabek smacking about her and the film that’s all the buzz, “Kurt and Courtney.” By the way, after I saw the film, although I am a card-carrying member, all I could think was “Fuck the ACLU.” You can see Rozz and his infamous ‘80s band Theatre of Sheep at the Cobalt Lounge on May 7th and May 14th (Thursdays both of ‘em). My favorite song is “Vali-yum-yum-yum-yum-yummmm” because in rock-n-roll, like porn references, drug references are always cool. Especially if they’re done in that family-oriented, fun and entertaining way...

Punk and Porn have some deep connections in Hollyweird and we have the skinny on the nasty as Bart Skwarczynski, frequent contributor to Flipside magazine, shows us around the sets.

Finally, Viva and her friends took on Nashville Pussy the last time they were in town. I noticed a pattern of Viva asking most of the sex-related questions in the interview. Good girl. Nashville Pussy will be back at LaLuna Sunday, May 17, the night after Elliott Smith plays (which would make that Saturday, May 16... this whole time-space thing is pretty neat).

I Homo Erectus...

I have no idea what that means but it’s 4:54am and it sounds interesting, plus I bet someone a cocktail I would print it. Cheers...