"Meet me in the car with nothing on except the radio!"

Charmed! What a thrill! The fantasy, the thought, the imagery! You could probably almost "come" right now... (makes my crotch water).

What is the attraction of sex in public places? What is the fascination with the possibility of being seen or, more risky, being caught?

As youngsters, we first experienced sexual stimulation and, ultimately, gratification in a whirlwind of secrecy, pleasure, sweat, and adrenaline rush. The same buttons (so to speak) are pushed as an adult when you engage in sex in public places. As with most things, our first experience is often the most potent and memorable. I can recall my college days when hot, horny, rock-hard sex in my car on the fourth level of the college's parking structure left me almost in a catatonic or comatose state! I would guess most readers can relate in some way to this scenario. Maybe it was a steamy-windowed night at a drive-in movie theater, or a secluded place in a park, or at a beach draped over a piece of driftwood. (so much for building memories.)

I know of couples who have had intercourse in the waiting areas of a prison during visitation. Oh, my God... the ultimate! How could this possibly happen, you ask. The woman wears a loose, semi-full skirt and has the crotch cut out of her pantihose. Her man wears his regular pants with no underwear. As she innocently sits on his lap for an intimate "conversation," he unzips and lets his stiff member out. She settles down to accommodate his white-hot love log and the rest is an explosion of history. Whoa, I think I need a cigarette after that (and I don't even smoke).

Sex in public can be with a newly found partner, an anonymous partner, or a staged encounter with your lover. Married folks may even want to do this to "spice up" their relationship or act out a long awaited fantasy. There really is no harm involved in ultra-wet public sex, assuming your choice of partner is not an undercover police officer or a serial killer and you choose a place where you're not going to over educate the under aged.

I know by now I have started the juices of your imagination and/or memory flowing. Those of you who are exhibitionists can readily relate, or at least get into this column. For those of you who may ned a little clarity, here's a definition: Exhibitionist: One who likes to display their body in the nude, particularly their genitals in public or before a group. The exhibitionist is to the voyeur what the masochist is to the sadist.

Those of you who masturbate while driving (and I know you are out there) understand this exhilaration. You know, like when you area alone on a freeway with your pants down around your ankles, stroking to the purr of the engine. OOoooo! By the way, I must tell you, I have never received more voice mail than I did in response to one of my recent columns on masturbation. I am now convinced that it is man's favorite sport. Screw Monday night football!

What a world we would have if all safe sexual desires were acceptable. If only people could get a harmless thrill out of deprivation?!? On that note, I want to wish each and every one of you the happiest of holidays from the one and only Mainstream Queen... Love and Laughter, Snickers LaBarr. (503) 727-2491