It was Saturday night and I couldn’t find anything to do. Nobody was hangin’ out. I was bored. So I says to myself, "Self this is boring." I had been working too hard lately anyway and had been feeling like I needed to get out of town.You know, relaxation time. Then the light bulb came on over my head and I suddenly knew what I had to do! The answer was Boring.

I’ve always considered myself a cool titty-bar kinda guy. Been to `em all, know everybody. Well, that is, except the Boring Tavern in beautiful, exciting downtown Boring. Just never made it out that way. Been meaning to forever, though. Should have gone sooner. I had a great time! It’s definitely not a boring tavern.

Friendly barman Nick says it best, “Drop your guards. Enjoy yourself. We’re having a weird time out here."

They've got this real cool stage. Half of it looks like a jail cell; just perfect for all your women-behind-bars fantasies. But if you like your dancers running wild and free they also do taxi dancing. For those of you not in the know, that means you can be anywhere in the house and they come to you. No more worrying about your wife catching you sitting at the rack. Be sure to tip those ladies; that’s a lot wear and tear on the shoes. It’s a big house. The joint was jumping. It was a real mixed crowd and everyone was having a good time. They got all the fun stuff: pool tables, pinball, and beer. There’s even foosball!

I also met this guy named Loran who wants all you ladies to know that he’s on your side. He thinks there should be more male dancers available for your pleasure and he’s more than willing to be your private dancer. Chivalry is not dead. So take the ride out to Boring, it’s all there!

Back in town I stopped into J.D.’s and ran into my old friend Terry. So we’re sitting at the bar yakking it up about this and that, old times, etc. So he asks what I’ve been up to... Talk about perfect timing! Get this, the very lovely Meaghan starts her set with "The Joker" by Steve Miller. Thank you. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Talking old times is nice, but watching beautiful women dance to great songs is nice, too. Stop in at J.D.’s and let her do it for you. Don’t forget to tip.

It’s the real thing! This is a true story. I’m not making this up. There are 18 ladies at the Palace of Pleasure and they’ve all got real boobs. Is this a new trend? I like it. I hope to see more of it.

You knew him as Dave the driver. Then as Dave the agent. Now he’s Dave the bartender. My good friend Dave Heller is now bartending at Club Genesis. Stop in say hello, he’s there most nights.

Talked with Marty at Montego’s and he tells me you can now catch the beautiful Sassy’s Girls there. For those of you who want more, more, and more... Saturday nights feature Triple Treats. That's three lovely ladies dancing at the same time.

Next door Dancers is now open. They are only a juice bar now but expect to be serving beer and wine within the next few weeks. They are featuring the beautiful dancers from Woman, Inc. and promised me that lots of exciting events are planned in the coming months.

While you’re up in that neighborhood, do me a favor. Stop at Dream On and give Jim and Rob a hard time. I’ve been real busy and haven’t been able to do it myself. I don’t want them to think I’ve forgotten them.

That’s all for now. Call me if you want to. (503) 604-8885.

I’m The Real John Henry and all that jazz.