It's beginning to look a lot like it's time to come in out of the rain. It may be wet indoors, but at least it's a warm wet. As they say, it ain't the heat, it's the humidity.

Those of you who haven't reformed your ways after reading Gary Aker's three-part series on gambling, will be happy to know that Montego's now has all Oregon lottery games. A great way to spend your holiday cash in hopes of winning more!

If you lose too much at the lottery machines you won't have to go hungry at The Backswing, at least. Every Saturday and Sunday they're hosting an All-You-Can-Eat Spaghetti Feed.

It's the season for giving and the lovely ladies at Stars, are filled with the holiday spirit of generosity. Every day at 8pm you can get a free table dance from your favorite dancer. We know they're like potato chips (you can't just have one), so come 8:10 pm you'll be wanting to introduce one of your favorite presidents to your favorite lady. As though this wasn't enough, you can get 2-for-1 dances from 11 am - 6 pm, a special treat for all you night workers.

Speaking of Stars and table dances (ooo...smooth segue-way), 1991 - '94 Penthouse Pet, Bobby Brown will be available for one-on-one dancing every Thursday through Saturday in December. On the main stage, enjoy the sophisticated (but wild) talent of Canada's petite adult film sensation, Marilyn Star, December 9 - 14.

And, one last word about table dances: they're back at The Sandy Jug!

Down south, Eugene's Silver Dollar Club will host Penthouse Pet, Brandi Lee Braxton the 16th through 18th. She'll move from Eugene up to Portland's Club 122 for the 19th of December before finishing the month off at Salem's Main Event on the 20th and 21st.

Those of you in the area who have read and heard about Portland's dancers but haven't had a chance to see any will get your opportunity December 12th when the Silver Dollar Club presents its I-5 Dancer Exchange. Portlander's need not fear a lack of dancers on the 12th, however. Club 122 has got in on the exchange dancer spirit by hosting Eugene's young lovelies for the night.

The winter sun can play tricks on your eyes but when you see double at the Main Event on December 3rd and 4th you'll really be seeing double: Doublicious, identical twin dancers. If you miss them the first time, make sure your vision is clear for their show at Club 122, December 5 - 7.

The Bank is bring back Portland native, Exotic covergirl (now adult film star) Tyler Sweet for two days only, December 6 - 7. Come see the show and then help encourage local talent by renting one of her vids. Some of Portland's favorite dancers will converge on December 19th as "America's Most Wanted." You'll finally be able to see Blair, Bunny, Phyllisha, Kai, Sierra, and Exotic covergirls Jewels and Kat, all in one evening! Definitely a love overload. December 20th and 21st brings Salt Lake City's Cameo to The Bank. It's nice to know there's more in Salt Lake then extra-long Mormon underwear.

Dancin' Bare is presenting Sensuous Xplosions, an erotic dance production on December 21st. From the picture in their ad, it looks like those ladies are some wild cats, indeed. Meow! What a bunch of bad kitties.

Which segues us perfectly to Bad Kitty (Gee, it's almost like we planned this), where you can find Portland's largest selection of hand blown glass tobacco pipes, as well as a nice selection of Catherine Coatney dancer outfits and adult toys all on sale for X-mas. They promise to make your pussy purr in more ways than one. Drop by the shop at 310 SW 9th and Oak (just a block off Burnside and SW 9th).

If you're looking for parties, you'll find plenty. December 18th's X-mas party at Club 205 will help you get in the swing of the season . Club 122 will host it's X-mas party on the 20th...complete with the Meier and Frank Santa and some helpers. You'll be nice and warmed up by the 21st when the Night Owl throws its X-mas bash. Collect the whole set!

Looks like Rooster's has added some suspense to their Match the Butt to the Barmaid contest...new faces (and, next month, butts) have been added. Check out this month's ad and gaze deeply into those lovely ladies eyes; the windows to their souls, you know. Next month you'll need to use your detective skills to match those limpid pools to the glowing flesh globes of their butts. If you can figure our whose bottom goes to whose top you'll be a winner! If only all contests were so grueling.

Exquisite Tan has an XXX-mas special for us this year; the Las Vegas Showgirls continue their sexy antics for another month. Leather and Lace, not to be outdone, is offering a 2-for-1 special all month. In other lingerie shop news, Honey Suckles Lingerie, Portland's newest kid-on-the-block is open for business. There's just something about winter and lingerie that go together, don't you think?

If you like your underwear on the kinky side, don't forget to check out Fetish Night at Moody's, December 15th. The Lick Sisters have flown up for Fetish Night from sunny California to remind us how much we miss them and, to keep those bad girls in line, the amazing Dick Sisters will be on hand to lampoon their nasty asses.

If you folks get a chance you might ask the OLCC what their major malfunction is...they're renewing efforts to yank both Stars and Mama Mia's liquor licenses. Doesn't Beaverton have any crime it could be focusing on, instead of harassing business owners who provide employment and entertainment to area residents?

In spite of Beaverton's continuing fight with gentlemen's clubs, Oregonian's rejected Measure 31, 53% to 47%. Hopefully this will be the last time the purity squad will try to tamper with the Oregon Constitution. The No on Censorship, No on 31 team tells us that there are still some bills to pay, though. $241,657 to be exact. If you weren't able to contribute before the election but would like to help now, send your checks to No Censorship - No on 31 Committee, P.O. Box 40407, Portland, OR 97240.

Meanwhile, our brothers to the north continue to do battle with the forces of evil. While we're celebrating the defeat of Measure 31 here in Portland, the customers in Kent, Washington are wondering how lucky they are to have nude dancing given that they have to stand 10 feet from the dancers. Washington residents can thank Judge Thomas Zilly for that far-sighted miscarriage of justice.

The Lusty Lady in Seattle is having their annual Playday on Friday, December 13th. This year's big bash has a carnival theme. If you've never been to a Playday at the Lady, get your butt down there and have some fun. If you have been before, we already know we'll see you there.

If you looked for your December issue of Exotic at Webb's Pub you already know we're not distributing there anymore. Webb's Pub is one of only three clubs in the Portland area not carrying Exotic. But you'll continue to find Exotic at all other clubs. The Magic Garden and The Bank have joined the list of clubs exclusively carrying Exotic Magazine. That makes 20 of 42 clubs (as well as half of all the adult stores) carrying only Exotic and not our "competition." Show them your appreciation by dropping by, having a snack and tipping big.

We're also happy to add the Real John Henry to the Exotic family. Darklady's friend of 17 years is now distributing Exotic Magazine...another exclusive.

Keep your eyes open for the 1997 Snickers LaBarr Calendar. Portand's most glamorous cable access queen wants to get on mainstream TV (so to speak) and calendar proceeds will help make this a reality. Twenty percent of the net proceeds will also be donated to the Bradley Engel House and The Missing Children Locator Service. Three good causes to help start the new year right.

Thanks to all our readers and the beautiful ladies (and gorgeous men) in the adult entertainment industry for a great year. Drink sensibly and if you can't, let someone who did do the driving. See you in 1997!