All the leaves are brown and the parties are indoors. We certainly can't let medium-man autumn think we're going to spend all our time working or reading a good book, right? No way! We're going to spend it laughing at the rain and enjoying some of the best nude entertainment known to man. And, if October is any sign, this is going to be one helluva season for fun.

The lovely and talented Miss Mona will dazzle us with her Theatre De Vamps Cabaret at the Magic Garden on October 6th and if it's anything like her previous offerings, it's a Do-Not-Miss occasion. Doors open at 6 pm and the dark gift will be presented starting 9 pm. The Magic will also provide us with a spooky good time on Halloween (October 31 for those who've been in a time capsule) with a special Halloween party. You'd have to be a real Boo-b to miss that!

Those of us with sweet tooths are going to have to high-tail it over to CJ's on October 9th to catch sight of the Los Angeles Cream Team. Gorgeous naked women doing what gorgeous naked women naturally do, covering themselves with whipped cream. What a country!

The Riverside Corral, seeking to outdo even last year's amazingly fun anniversary shindig, is having their 3rd Anniversary Party on October 12th. Two girls on stage all night and a surprise feature dancer. These guys pull out all the stops for their one big party a year; don't miss it.

Some people can't go to enough parties in one day. For those of you who wear your party shoes every day, the Night Owl Tavern is having a Columbus Day Party on October 12th. The storm's going to be inside...all day and all night. They are definitely open for business.

Who wants #1 when you can have the amazing Levena Holmes? This gorgeous Penthouse Pet of the Year Runner-Up will grace the stage of Eugene's Silver Dollar Club October 8 - 10th. If you can't make it to Eugene, don't miss her at Salem's Main Event on the 11th and 12th.

Who doesn't love a home movie? Hot Body Video's Christy Carrera will be reminding us that we've got to get the VCR cleaned (any maybe our minds?) at Club 122 from October 17 until the 19th. Oh, and she's a Playboy Magazine model, too. Say no more. You'll have so much fun you'll want to see her again at the Main Event on the 29th and 30th.

Dooley's of St. Johns likes Halloween so much it's lasting three days this year. Their Halloween Dancer's Ball will include live rock classics and costume prizes from October 31 to November 2nd. Off-duty dancers are cordially invited to join in the festivities.

Other about town news: Union Jacks, not being content with being incredible, has added even more! Laser lights will accompany music played by their own DJ on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. The lasers will be at the club even when the DJ's at home, in case you were worried.

Jody's has decided that shift changes are the perfect time to meet all the dancers. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays from 9 - 9:30 pm will feature all dancers (that's a dozen, 12 for those counting) for your viewing pleasure. Make sure and buy a handful of $1 table dances, too. They may only be $1 but you know they're worth more, so don't forget those bigger presidents.

Not to be outdone, Stars Cabaret is offering free table dances. Now you guys who've been too shy (or broke) to go cross-eyed up close to your favorite dancer are fresh out of excuses. Don't forget, you've still got a chance at the heavenly hog, too. Babes and bikes...I think we're in heaven.

For those of you looking for a more intimate environment, Sugar Daddy's (the baby on the block) has extended it's $39 special until October 10th. Quick! Go read your copy of Exotic in their lobby!

DK Wilds has been keeping a secret. One of their employees, Bob "Bobcat" Patterson apparently is such a snowboard enthusiast that he has his own magazine: Blunt. The $3.95 issue we saw (#11) included literary gems such as "Miscellaneous Bullshit" (featuring creative shadows), "Share-a-Puke" and "The Dry Docker (Fun with Feces)". And they say there's no hope for Generation X.

Because we're just a bunch of naughty name droppers we wanna point out that our sultry covergirl, Kat can be oggled lovingly at The Bank. She's one puss we wouldn't mind having cross our path. And while we're talking up dancers, a jolly advertising welcome to our favorite Shakespearian shimmier, Ophelia, one of last month's covergirl lovelies.

And a final aside: Mama Mia's own birthday boy, George, apparently looks pretty unconvincing in ladies' finery, or so concluded the experts at Stars Cabaret (and they're pretty familiar with what women look like). George's ID stubbornly labeled him male when he went to visit Beavertown's other dance club. An invitation to Randy of Stars for an exchange visit had to be declined: nothing appropriately frilly to wear. Maybe he needs to check out Bad Kitty's trunk sale running until the 6th of October? They've got the funky-ass stripper clothes, you know.