If it’s September 1st, you’re in luck. Old Portland punk favorites The Gnash are reuniting for one night of mayhem at the Towne Lounge. Featuring members of Tough Love, The Neins and Diamond Tuck and The Privates, The Gnash has been compared to “a shitstorm pouring out of your ass” and is the sexxxiest, snarliest band this town has ever birthed. No one drinks more Old Crow than these motherfuckers. 9pm FREE

BACK TO SCHOOL BASH!

Lush and Exotic Magazine are going back to school in style. Don’t miss the Naughty Schoolgirl Party on Friday, September 23rd at Lush. Free admission to all, whether you’re naughty or nice!

LAP DANCE LIBERATION FRONT

Last month in Seattle over 100 strippers appeared in front of City Council to protest a proposal preventing dancers from touching customers. The girls, who make almost all of their tips from lap dancing, argued that the regulations would put them out of business. Meanwhile, in Portland, a group of strippers at a popular eastside club walked out when management upped their stage fees and put surveillance cameras in the dressing room. Cheers to these gutsy broads for standing up to the Man. Thank god they still make chicks with balls on the West Coast!

MISSING A BOYFRIEND?

If you’re wondering where your loser boyfriend is, chances are he’s at DV8. This club knows what boys like! $2 shots of Jim Beam, $2.50 Jack & cokes and $1.50 pounders of Pabst EVERY DAY and a free buffet from 6pm-8pm. There’s live music every Friday and Saturday night and a Best Tits & Ass Contest every Wednesday.

MISS LATINA CONTEST

J.Mack strikes again! Our boy J. is throwing the hottest party of the month on Thursday, September 15th at Gata Salvaje. Watch as Portland’s sexiest Latin ladies compete for the crown!
R.I.P. SUMMER

There’s always a reason to throw a party, as Jody’s Last Day of Summer Party on September 21st proves. Jody’s is also the place to catch Monday Night Football… unless you want free all-you-can-eat tacos, in which case you should hit the Pallas, which is also throwing an End of Summer Party on Saturday the 24th.

Finally, Wildcats is featuring hot nights all month long as part of their September to Remember. Every Wednesday is amateur night from 6pm-2am, every Thursday you can Name That Tune for prizes, and on Sundays play Texas Hold-‘Em. And for pete’s sake don’t miss the aptly named Dancer Night on September 10th at Club 505 & the 92nd St. Club.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

Exotic welcomes two new adult businesses to the fold: Passionate Dreams lingerie modeling studio on—you guessed it!—82nd Avenue and a new Fat Cobra Video on fabulous Highway 30!

ROCK, etc.

9/3 GARBAGE @ schnitzer
9/8 BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE @ dante’s
9/9 SWORDS @ berbati’s
9/8 - 9/10 MUSICFEST NW
9/13 BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB @ doug fir
9/16 DIAMOND TUCK w/ THE NICE BOYS @ dante’s
9/24 FERNANDO @ dante’s
9/25 NEW PORNOGRAPHERS @ wonder ballroom

SORRY! WE FUCKED UP!

Due to miscommunications between Exotic’s Portland and Seattle offices, model Athena Blaze who appeared in the Union Jacks add was erroneously cited as Miss Nude Oregon 2005. This seriously pissed off one guy. Exotic regrets the error.