Christmas,
Christmas time is here. Time to get loaded
and screw the one you're with. Or you can
kick it at home with the Baby Jesus Butt
Plug, and celebrate the birth of some
people's Lord and Savior in rapturous orgasm!!
Or just rent Woody Allen movies and eat
ice cream.
A.B.A.T.E.
Doernbecher Children's Hospital Toy Run
on December 4th
The
party's goin' on ALL MONTH LONG at the Dancin'
Bare, beginning on Wednesday, December 1st
with Biker Babe Night. The wildest
biker babe wins cash and prizes at this
A.B.A.T.E. Toy Run kick-off party. Buy a
ticket to win a new Harley! The following
Saturday, December 4th, the Bare hosts a
Biker Breakfast before the A.B.A.T.E.
Doernbecher Children's Hospital Toy Run.
What do bikers eat for breakfast, anyway?
Beer and pussy, that's what. Then they ride
en masse through downtown up to the Children's
Hospital on Pill Hill, their bikes heaped
with toys to give the kids. This is one
of Portland's most wonderful celebrations
of the season (and a hard one to miss cuz
the thousand or so bikers clog up the streets
for a good hour).
God
I love Bottom's Up, almost as much as I
love Highway 30 where it's located. Last
time I was there this older gentleman was
plying the stripper gals with BEEF JERKY.
Bottom's Up strippers LOVE beef jerky, and
so do I. Know what else I love? Dino's.
They're having another one of their extra
special nights on Saturday, December 11th,
featuring Desiderata and bar dancing divas.
Dancin' Bare wants to help. On Wednesday,
Dec.
15th,
they're hosting Guys' Night Out Shopping
Spree and Fashion Show. The Dancin'
Bare babes will show you the hottest in
lingerie, toys (naughty and nice), porn
and more. When your old lady's getting feisty
with you for getting home at 3am, just say
you were out shopping for her!
Parties
at every club in town. Pick your favorite,
but don't miss JMack's bash at the Viper
Room, featuring Young Lyfe.
Late
one night during deadline, a forlorn-looking
man stumbled into Exotic's discreetly
located offices. Over a year ago, he said,
one Viva Las Vegas had written a column
about local strippers who sported fluffy
piles of pubic hair. Where were these girls
now? He'd been all around town asking bartenders
and no one knew. Neither did Severina or
Jim Goad, who were holding down the fort
at the time. Severina told the poor wastrel
that trends had changed, that everyone shaves
now and that he better get the fuck out
before she kicked his ass down the stairs.
Well, honeys? Any of you still rockin' the
super-fuzz big muff? Tell me and I'll make
sure the weirdos know where to find you.
Email me at viva@xmag.com
COCO
COBRA & THE KILLERS 12/3 @ Devils Point
JONATHAN
RICHMAN 12/7 @ Dante's
JAMES
MERCER of the Shins 12/10 @ the Roseland
THE
NEINS 12/11 @ Beulahland. Toy Drive!
SLAYER
12/12 @ the Roseland
