"Can we, as a country, all
agree
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xmag.com
: March 2003:
What's Your Fucking Problem?
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It's
common knowledge that the human tongue has
taste buds for sweet, salty, sour and bitter
tastes. Recently, the medical association
has discovered some new little buds in the
back. These newly found taste buds are for
tasting fat, and they're located just at
the crest of our throats. This knowledge
might be new to those stodgy scientists,
but it's old news to this little tramp.
I've been aware that the back of my throat
is craving fat for many years. Fat cock
that is.
My
throat slicks up and I get all dribbly at
the mouth over a smooth woody knob of dick.
But I'm not here to tell you about my love
of cock and all its yummy gifts. No, I'm
here to talk about size. Size matters. But
before you get upset about your wrinkly
lil' guy downstairs, hear me out.
There
once was a boy, we'll call him Big Dummy,
who I was curious about. Curious like a
cat-in-heat, howling and rubbing its butt
on the floor and trying to fuck your shoes.
We were finally alone in my room, lights
out, candles lit and all preliminary yammering
done with. It was time to open my present.
He was hesitant at first--turned out he
really liked me and wanted to wait and blah
blah blah. I told him we could go as slowly
as he wanted as I slid my face down his
big ol' chest, tracing every curve of ab-muscle
with my tongue to just south of his navel.
I heard him moan, but he could've also said
"no". I was under the blankets and all sound
was muffled. Pulling the blankets down to
my shoulders I looked up at his face and
slid further down. Just then his warm hand
thunked against my cheek in protest, but
looking up at him I saw that both his hands
were behind his head. Hmmm.
I
had to back up to see the whole thing. In
the dark it looked like a plum on top of
a ten inch soda can. Suddenly my butt hurt
for no reason and my big mouth went dry.
I put my hand on it and squeezed. It pushed
back like a thick bicep. Big Dummy was silent
and I thought that the amount of blood it
took to fill this thing prob'ly knocked
him into a coma. It was me and Cockzilla
in the ring, the imaginary bell rang and
the fight began. I did everything I could
to get the head into my throat but my jaw
was locked open too wide, so I had to do
the juvenile stand-by of spit-slick hand-job
while suckling the head as best I could.
Big
Dummy was hitching his breath and moaning.
"Mmmm, yeah. C'mere..." he moaned and stroked
my head. I guess he was done waiting. As
he pulled me up to him I felt like saying
we should first wrap my hips in duct tape
so I wouldn't bust open when he tried to
plow me with his fucking thermos. I was
shaky, but my pride urged me on. He kissed
me and flipped me over onto my back and
kicked my legs open. I took a deep breath
and let it out as the carnage began.
Let's
just say that Big Dummy and I had sex twice
before I ended up in the hospital. Before
we broke up all I could do with his cock
was pose for pictures
with
it like a prize bass.
Gentlemen,
you don't need a huge dick to rule the roost.
In fact, it can work against you. Most girls
love cock, but also everything that comes
with it ....the grinding, licking, suckling,
spitting, swearing and a good sound smack
across the ass....oh yes. So if you're hung
like a duck, learn how to fuck. If you still
feel you can't fill the bill, go buy a dildo
or vibrator in any shape, size or color
for backup.
As
for me, if you shove it into my soft palate,
rock my uvula and give those fatty buds
a treat, you're in there. In my humble opinion,
more than a mouthfull's wasted. Mmmmmmm.
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