past years that'll be giving it another shot with a little more feeling. Ink-N-Pink history has given us quite a few special ladies in the past three years. These hellions possess traits such as determination, fierce competitiveness, insecure intimidation and manipulation, sexual frustration, addiction, and dysfunction. Now I'm not sure what type of women some of the other contests out there are looking for, but we're talking about the perfect Ink-N-Pink typecast role-model here. And just suppose you've ever been ejected from an Ink-N- Pink event in the past and were hoping you might be able to join us for our final crusade? No problem, baby, all you have to do is get Ink-N-Pink tattooed across your ass, get fired by Doc's Bar and Grill, Cocktails and Dreams, Union Jacks, and The Pallas, and we just might consider you as blow-job consultant to the stage crew. This year's prospects are still coming together at press time, but from what I've seen so far, we've got some great fresh meat on the platter for you all to feast on, my friends. But feed well, for this is your Last Supper.

VENUES OF DESTRUCTION

Another entertaining part of Ink-N-Pink has always been the locations where these unholy events have taken place. Certain clubs seem like they would be a natural for an event such as this, and others will never quite fit the mold. One unexpected success has always been Jody's Bar and Grill. Now, when you walk up to a good old boy such as Jody Tanner and try to sell him on the idea of a bunch of tattooed freaks marching into his club, bringing along a couple of half-naked pyromaniacs, and we get to keep all the money, what else would you expect him to say but, "Sounds like a great idea!" The beautiful thing about Jody is, that is exactly how he responded. He, as well as the rest of Jody's staff, believed in Ink-N-Pink when it was nothing. Now, three years later, it's still nothing, and they still believe in us. As a
matter of fact, Jody's Bar & Grill is probably the inciting incident that led to Ink-N-Pink being resurrected at all this year. When I told Brad Tanner there would be no event, he threw himself in front of my car and cried like a little girl until I comforted him, and found myself weakened by his boyish good looks and agreed to do one more year. But that isn't gonna work next year, Brad, unless you start putting out. So this year, Ink-N-Pink's most sacred night of Halloween will be held at Jody's. Costume contests and big prizes for all at this one.

Another long-termer in the Ink-N-Pink family has been Union Jacks. Ink-N-Pink was born here, and in some ways, inspired by this dark, gothic alternative landmark of nudity, which made it a natural to launch this event within its dark and comfortable walls. The first cut will tear through Jacks on Friday, October 18th. Over the years, I've watched Jacks struggle to overcome a stereotype of offering nothing but the darkest, angriest, Goth-ridden Prozac princesses in PDX. Now that they offer a stellar lineup of diversified entertainers, Ink-N-Pink is taking them back to their roots. Look for an outdoor vendor and tattoo chamber on their beer garden this year, not to mention live tattooing as well, (possibly even piercing as well.)

Our last two host clubs will be the Pallas Club taking on their second year in the family. Last year's event packed 'em in, and the high-tech cavernous atmosphere along with huge multiple runway stages worked remarkably well for Ink-N-Pink. Check out the Pallas gig on Thursday, October 24th. Which leads us to the big finale. Welcome back to Cleopatra's Viewpoint. Ink-n-Pink will wrap up on Saturday, November 2nd at The Viewpoint. Don't miss this one if you wanna have any stories to terrify your grandkids with. This will be the absolute last, final, end-of-it-all event to put Ink-N-Pink in its grave once and for all. We'll announce our winner and slam you with every alternatively arousing trick in our perverted little bags on this one. Let's just say it'll be fortunate that Sunday is the morning after, cause they'll be lining up for confession on this one. And you'll even have the perfect escape to ditch your girlfriend by sending her upstairs for the Male Review while you ogle these tattooed beauties one last time.